Devil May Ed 3: Subsistence
by Soryujo the Frostbite Wolf
Summary: A oneshot crossover. Ed Edd and Eddy playing Metal Gear Solid 3 Subsistence with a brief Devil May Cry appearance. Rated M for language.


**Devil May Ed: Subsistence**

Written by Soryujo

(Note: I do not own Ed, Edd and Eddy, nor do I own Metal Gear Solid 3 Subsistence or Devil May Cry)

_**Grozynj Grad**_

(Eddy and Double D have logged on as Ocelot's, but Eddy is angry about the placing)

Eddy: Double D, we've got a problem

Double D: What's wrong?

Eddy: HOW COME I'M JUST A FOOT SOLDIER AND YOUR OCELOT?!

Double D: Well I had a better game play record then you did.

Eddy: How? You never killed anyone! All you did was sneak around!

Double D: That was the point of the game. I don't like Ocelot though, and you wouldn't let us use KGB

Eddy: Where's lumpy? I thought he would be with us today.

Double D: Uh… well another guy is online. Maybe it's him.

Eddy: It says he's GRU. Lumpy knew we were going to be the Ocelot's today.

Double D: Is that Raikov?

Eddy: Huh?

(Eddy looks at Ed, he's logged on as Raikov but is wearing a red coat and doesn't have his hat on. He is also carrying a sword)

Eddy: HA HA HA HA! That's awesome lumpy!

Double D: Ed, what did I tell you about hacking the sprites?

Ed: THIS PARTIES GETTING CRAZY!! (he walks up to a jukebox and punches it)

Double D: Where did that come from?

Eddy: Dude, I've seen this somewhere before!

Double D: Where?

Eddy: I don't remember. All I know is that is some awesome camo!

Double D: Ed, log on as an Ocelot so we can start our game.

Ed: (He pulls out two handguns, one black and one white) Let's dance! (He starts spinning and firing)

Eddy: SHIT! DUCK!!

Double D: YAAAAHHH!! (They both run for cover)

Eddy: Now I remember! He imported Dante! He even got in Ebony and Ivory!

Double D: That isn't good Eddy! He doesn't remember that we're supposed to be on a team!

Eddy: Wait, I'm forgetting some-- (Eddy is killed by a sword, he respawns a few second later) REBELLION!

Double D: Not again! I told you that I didn't want to be Ocelot!

Eddy: No! That's what just killed me!

Double D: Okay, enough of this! (He pulls out a revolver and ricochets the bullet off the wall and into Ed's head, he clutches his stomach and collapses)

Eddy: Holy shit! Double D that was awesome!

Double D: Eddy, why did he clutch his stomach during a headshot?

Eddy: Huh? I dunno.

Double D: It's a fake death pill.

Eddy: Oh! I'm on it! (Eddy walks behind Ed, kicks him awake, and holds him up) Oh Ed, STOP SCREWING AROUND AND LOG ON AS AN OCELOT!

Ed: Aww… but I like this camo!

Eddy: Yeah but if we tried to do GRU then Double D would end up as Raikov. I know it's fitting but--

Double D: Eddy, enough with the gay jokes!

Eddy: Fine! Just hurry it up skunk pits!

Ed: Okay… (he logs off, 1 minute later another foot soldier appears)

Eddy: Okay, gangs all here! What do we have Double D?

Double D: Jimmy and Sarah were challenging us to a fight in Northeast Grozynj Grad. We'd better hurry up.

Eddy: Who are they logging on as?

Double D: They didn't say.

Eddy: Anyone coming with us?

Double D: No, that's why I asked Ed to log on.

Eddy: Heh, we'll get them. An Ocelot never lets his pray escape! (He salutes) Damn! Double D, please do the hand sign to humor me.

Double D: Sigh… (He does the hand sign) There. Now lets hurry up. Next time, we're on as KGB.

Eddy: Yeah, you with Stealth camo and an RPG would be pretty awesome

Ed: ONWARD! (They go through a door)

Eddy: It's quiet… too quiet…

Double D: Well it says that 2 humans are with some CPU characters around here, but I don't--

Eddy: GRU! 12 OCLOCK!

Ed: SAY HALLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! (Ed goes apeshit with an M63 and kills several CPU characters)

Eddy: Nice lumpy!

(A Raikov sprite walks up)

Eddy: OMFGLOL! JIMMY IS RAIKOV!!!! (He starts laughing behind his controller and accidentally shoots Ed)

Ed: Agh! (He clutches his gut and collapses)

Double D: Ed, stop playing with fake death pills!

Jimmy: HEY! Don't mock me! I'll make you pay for insulting my teddy bear! (He pulls out an AK-47)

Eddy: Jimmy, you're kinda outnumbered, plus, Double D has a Single Action Army

Jimmy: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! (He fires wildly, in the opposite direction of the Eds)

Eddy: Vibrating controller too much for you Tinkerbell?

Jimmy: Hang on, gotta reload and-- (Eddy shoots Jimmy with an M37) Agh! (he flies backwards and dies)

Double D: Now you see the dangers of leaving virbrations on.

(Ed gets back up)

Ed: What about Sarah--AHHHH!! (Ed collapses)

Eddy: ED! What got him?

Double D: Sarah!

Eddy: Huh?

(A Reiko sprite appears from behind one of the tanks holding an SVD)

Sarah: What did you two do to Jimmy?

Eddy: Blame the controller, it's got more of a recoil then the real gun!

Double D: I'd trust you to know Eddy.

Sarah: (She shoots Eddy in the hand, he drops his M37) You two better not ignore me, or I'll blow you a new one!

Eddy: You need to be at close range to do a hold up brat! (He pulls out an M1911A1 and shoots at Sarah, she runs behind the tank)

Double D: Nice shot Eddy! Brilliant! No wonder you're Ocelot!

Eddy: Shut up and shoot her!

Double D: We're playing as KGB next time?

Eddy: Fine!

Double D: (He fires his Single Action Army, the bullet ricochets off the tanks and kills Sarah) There.

(The screen blanks out for a second, after that mission complete is written on the screen with Double D and Eddy striking a victory pose)

Eddy: Wait, why isn't Lumpy respawning?

Double D: Someone logged on as GRU? But who-- (Someone starts shooting at them)

Eddy: RUN FOR IT!

(Ed starts chasing after them in a Raikov sprite hacked to look like Dante)

No, there will not be another part. That was just stuck in my head and I had to get it out.


End file.
